Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Nana Strikes Again

2012 will go down in Australian history as the year we officially achieved Nana status. Already dismayed and disillusioned about where our society is headed, I spat out my toothpaste in disgust when I heard on the radio that the Australian Government will introduce tougher child care centre laws next year in relation to the naughty corner and religious and cultural activities.

As of  next year, child care centres can risk fines up to $50 000 and $10 000 for supervisors if they are seen to "separate" a child from the group or make them participate in cultural activities such as decorating a Christmas tree or go on a Easter egg hunt.

According to the Education and Care Services National Act, centres must "ensure that a child being educated and cared for by the service is not separated from other children for any reason other than illness or an accident...and that children cannot be "required to undertake activities that are inappropriate, having regard to each family and cultural values, age and physical and intellectual development."

The wording of "separation" without clear definition has centres worried. Alliance president Gwynn Bridge told The Australian newspaper, "There is time out but naughty corners went out years ago. You move a child away from the group and talk to them about their behaviour. But we don't know the meaning of the word 'separate' - is it distance? This needs clarification otherwise people will be in breach without realising it."

But is separating a child for doing something wrong such a bad thing? Bridges makes mention that you speak to the child about their behaviour but we are talking about a person under 5 here; can they fully comprehend that they have done something wrong if they aren't made to feel they have?

It seems that over the years telling a child "no" was seen as a bad thing. Young university students training to be teachers are told you can't tell a child "no". Why not? What harm does it do?

Jan Deans is the Director of Early Learning Centre at the University of Melbourne and believes that removing a child from their peer group can be damaging. "It can affect children's self esteem. It is something that has been seen as inappropriate for quite a long time... I think common sense would tell you that if you were regularly having to experience separation from others and made to feel less worthy, that child would gradually start to feel not as confidant as other members who are receiving positive affirmation."

As a former sports coach, if one of my children was misbehaving and was putting themselves and others around them at risk, I would make them have a sit down and think about what they had done. They got a warning, but if they did it again, time out. Yes, sometimes I had tears and once I had a parent accost me and ask why her child was sitting down, but I told her that her child had done the wrong thing and that she could join in again after a brief sit down. I only had to do it once and the child learnt.

Whether they felt embarrassed or ashamed, I don't know, what I do know is that they realised they had done something they wern't supposed to and were punished by missing out on some fun. I think that's the bottom line: we have become so worried about what is right for our children that we will have a generation of children ill prepared for the world. NEWS FLASH: Life isn't fair, there are winners and there are losers. Sometimes you have to work hard to get what you want and sometimes no matter how hard you try you may not get it, but you have to be in it to win it. We are wrapping children in cotton wool so tight that when they claw out of the cocoon, they're going to fall flat on their faces and won't have a clue how to fly.

The new inclusion of children no longer being allowed to take part in Christmas tree decorating and Easter egg hunts saddens me. I understand that as Australia grows in population, so too does it's diverse religions but decorating a tree and hunting for chocolate is fun and one that I don't see it as offensive, but, staying true to form, the Australian Government doesn't want to offend the minority. What if centres celebrated and introduced different cultural activities so no on was left out? Surely educating and broadening the minds of children is not a bad thing? I understand the argument is that no child should have a religious or cultural experience forced upon them, but come on! It's decorating a tree and looking for sugary goodness! It's hardly the devil at play!

I don't have children yet but I know that if or when I do, I know I'll want the best for them and that includes them being taught the difference between right or wrong, not just pandering to their whims and considering what might hurt their feelings. Who cares if they miss out on  a few minutes of activities because they did something wrong, as long as they learn from their mistake? Talk to them by all means but leave them to stew. What are we teaching our children? That their actions won't have consequences?

Perhaps the wording of "separation" will become an issue as some parents no doubt will see this as an opportunity to sue , another problem with our society. Parents do the best they can and pray (sorry, "hope" no religious connotations allowed) for the best. But, if we continue to walk down the path we are, society as we know it will die.

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