Recently, their has been a spate of articles on cheating; but they have focused on women doing the cheating, more specifically married women cheating. I'm not saying that this is a startling new revelation; people have been cheating since the dawn of time, and I'm not saying that men cheating is any less offensive, but it seems just as many women as men are cheating, but they don't want to leave their marriages and in all other aspects then the bedroom, are happy.
The articles have exposed that these women don't want to leave their husbands, they often still love them, they just want that side of wedges as well. Women have always been depicted as the more sensible and caring of the species, but these articles have shone a light on a new breed of woman: they want their cake and eat it too, and they often don't care for the other woman or their husbands. According to the article that appeared in Cleo's January issue "High Infidelity", relationship expert Susan De Campo says that many women justify their affairs by blaming the wives, believing that they're filling a void in that person's life and vice versa. One woman told Cleo: "I don't really feel sorry for his partner, I don't think she gives him what he needs. But I keep it separate in my mind anyway."
For these women, their affairs are getting the fun stuff they want from a relationship, without the boring everyday stuff. These women are getting hot sex, presents and ego boosts and then going home to their husbands. But for all the ego stroking and mind blowing orgasms, it it worth the time and effort? One woman in an article in The Age recently divulged that she had two phones; one for everyone including her husband and one for her lover, which she pulled apart and put together every time to text and ring to organise hook ups. Another woman has a special program on her computer that wipes the memory as soon as she turns it off, a rather expensive but necessary tool for her infidelity.
To these women, cheating is a way to keep themselves and their families happy; they don't want divorce and see this as a way to maintain the marriage; but is it unhealthy or could this be the way of the modern marriage? Is it downright unacceptable and these women should be burned at the stake? Or would this be acceptable if both parties knew about it and both could cheat? A new film coming out called "Hall Pass" addresses this issue when the wives and husbands give each other a hall pass (ie free pass) for one week to be with someone other then their partners. It will be interesting to see how this works; will each couple see the light and see that their partner is really the one for them, or will it wreck havoc and just point out the flaws in their marriage?
Are women better cheaters (ie smarter about it and therefor have been doing this for years without getting caught) or is it a "I deserve better then this" 2000s mentality?
As always, I would love to hear your thoughts.
PS: I would like to add that I am totally biased about cheating and I don't condone it, but I was fascinated by these women and their ability to not feel guilty.
